Kareoke will never be a sober sport
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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