There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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