guys are not supposed to queef...right?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
