i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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