K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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