I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
