I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
