Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
