How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
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