Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
