do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Damn victory sex feels great
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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