Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
