can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
whose parrot is this?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
