i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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