Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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