it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
