Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
