omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
