Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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