so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Randomize
