Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I wear drunk well.
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