I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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