What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize