Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
smell my finger.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
