Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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