what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
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