i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
