i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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