I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Randomize
