Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
it hurts more in the daytime
Acid is not a monday night drug
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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