whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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