They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
