Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
