Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Edward fifth and chaser hands
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
