i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
