you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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