someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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