Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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