my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
