So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
