I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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