i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
