No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize