Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Just high enough for therapy.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
