I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
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