even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
