I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
