I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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