I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
