We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Randomize
