too bad you live with your parents still
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
