I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
