are you still at the devil's house?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
