Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
