people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
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