I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
