Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
