I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
