I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
