I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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