so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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