Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
